(i should be studying, smfh)
"never beg someone to stay."
i still care, yes i still do. can't deny it. i'm tired, tired of being let down all the time. i'm tired of thinking. tired of putting so much effort on something that's clearly not worth it. tired of holding on for nothing. i'm tired of getting my hopes up and being disappointed again.
i messed up everything. my school, my relationship, my friends.. just everything. i need you here, to tell about my stories, about my day, school and stuff. i need you here, to tell me that everything will be better tomorrow. haih, can i please go back to the time when we're okay, when we're still talking.. i'd try to fix everything up. promise. sigh.
because to you i tell everything.
used to.
here's to the night when you just feel lost. here's to night when you just feels like you trust people so easily. here's to night when you have no one to talk to. here's to the night when you want to cry so badly, but you just can't, because you're so tired to cry, again. here's to the night when you want to sleep & forget about everything. here's to the night when you feel the hole in your chest. here's to the night when your feel like dying. here's to everything.
i wish i was strong,
i wish i wasn't as miserable as i am right now.
i blame myself. for everything. everything.
